It wasn't an easy trek
from the village and up the mountain to the castle. I stopped many
times, the sweat pouring off of me in the late afternoon sun. I told
myself that it was to look at the stunning views, but the reality was
I needed to catch my breath. The courtyard of the castle was
blessedly empty when I arrived and free of tourists. I went to my
favorite spot just underneath the north facing tower or the dunjeon
keep and sitting into the face of the setting sun wrote a whole scene
for my new book until I lost the light. The creativity flows up there
and its like the pen becomes an extension of my hand. I don't have to
formulate or recalibrate, it just flows and flows in the moment. When
I couldn't write any more I drew my knees up and stared into the
darkening twilight. This is my favorite time of the day, the last
exhalation before dark, just before the first star pops up in the
night sky. You can feel this moment in your bones, in the land all
around you and it is truly magical. My thoughts swirled out over the
land and for a moment I realized that my heart, which had recently
been literally punched out of my chest, didn't ache any more. It was
enough to be there, to be filled with the beauty and tranquillity of
the place. It was a gift and the tears ran down my face in relief. My
thoughts ranged to the past and future blending as one as I
contemplated on the meaning of eternity, trying to stretch my mind as
far as the darkness would go. Then it was night and the I said hello
to the first twinkling star.
Making my way to the
old encampments I briefly wondered what time it was. Then I laughed.
Time is irrelevant up here, it has no meaning whatsoever. The only
time is the darkness. Settling myself into my bag on the ground, I
watched the vast multitude of stars, picking out constellations and
tracing the backbone of the Milky Way which was so clear.across the
sky. I could feel the castle towering behind me, so warm and silent,
like a giant sentinel. First there was one shooting star and I made a
wish. Than another so I made another wish. The skies opened up as a
shower of stars fell, so many that I couldn't keep up. I tried giving
them classifications just for fun, but abandoned the thought as the
light show became more intense. They were so close, it was like all I
would have to do is raise my hand to grab one. As I lay there
watching in wonder, my thoughts started to flee, my soul stretching
out until there was nothing else, just me and the mountain and the
stars streaking across the sky, like a thousand tiny jewels. The
strangest thing was that it was familiar, that I had been in this
very spot before and seen the exact same thing. Like I knew it was
going to happen. I lost myself in that familiarity and just let
myself be a part of the elements, a part of the night, a part of the
infinity in each one of those stars. It started to taper off and I
must have drifted into a dreamless sleep for a while.
The last calls of the
owls woke me just before dawn, just as the tiniest line of light was
brightening in the eastern sky. My head was still with the stars,
still lost in other galaxies and other times, but as the sun rose and
the skies became streaked with shades of pink, red and gold, I
started to pay more attention. There have been many spectacular
sunrises at Montsegur, but this one was on a scale that is almost
indescribable it was so cosmic. The sun was so intensely red that it
felt like being bathed in fire, like dawn was not just breaking, but
it was victorious and charging into the day full throttle. Like a
roaring beast that would not be denied. Then it softened and changed
back into dawn and a regular day. It wasn't until I packed my bag and
turned around that there were other people there watching as well. I
never heard them come up through the courtyard and yet they were
there, still as statues, completely enraptured at the sight. Smiling
at them as I made my leave, I stood in the archway of the door and
silently thanked the castle, thanked the mountain for the experience
and letting me be a part of it. Then I happily made my way back down
the trail..
I did manage to break
out of the reverie and grab a couple of shots.
Baptismal of Fire....
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